I am so excited for Christmas! I am 41 years old and for the first time since I was 11, I am actually excited for the yuletide season!

It is 6am on Christmas Eve and I’m up early because I’m so excited, I couldn’t stay asleep. I’m sitting on my couch in the glow of our small, tabletop Christmas Tree, which has few ornaments but a metric fuck tone of presents beneath it. We contactlessly exchanged gifts outdoors with my mom a couple of days ago and I think my mom’s channelling her COVID stress into buying or making gifts because I don’t think there are usually this many! I love presents! And my mom’s super good at choosing gifts, it’s one of her strengths. In fact, my mom’s super into Christmas and paints snowmen and Santas all year round, but Christmas has always been a bittersweet holiday for us since my parents separated and something traumatic happened to our family during the Christmas season when I was about 11.

But, that’s all in the past! It’s now 2020 and there’s a pandemic, soooo we exchanged gifts, like I said, and then on Christmas morning, we’re gonna all open our gifts together on Zoom! For the first time in 30 years, I get to spend Christmas morning with my MOM! I’m sure she doesn’t see it as ideal, but I sure as hell do! Then again, I’m a former camgirl, pioneer of the internet, so of course I would. My mom’s a little more traditional but getting there.

Wes got accepted to 5 far away Universities and plans to choose one soon to attend in the fall, so this might be the last Christmas we have him for a while. I’m not sure if he plans to come home for holidays. Also, right now Madison is living with us until she and her boyfriend move into an apartment in the New Year, so it’s all my immediate Crittendens under one roof for Christmas at the moment, which is AWESOME!

Everyone in our house has their own computer and so does my mom, her fiance, and his son, so I’m gonna start a group chat on messenger with everyone today and then check in with everyone Christmas morning. When everyone’s good and ready, I’m gonna start a Zoom meeting and drop the link in chat. They click it and let the festivities begin!

As an early Christmas present, my mom gave me a velvety pillow with a Christmas sloth on it, as well as a mug with Christmas sloths all over it! And last year, Blake got me a stuffed Santa sloth! I now have my own Christmas things! How cool is that?! The only Christmas thing I ever owned before this is a vintage light up Strawberry Shortcake ceramic Christmas Tree I’ve had since I was 3, that I didn’t put out this year because it’s really dirty and I couldn’t find a plug for it so I just put it back in the storage bin. Maybe next year! Our stockings are very generic, I’d like to get more personalized ones, plus it looks like a mouse chewed a hole in Blake’s from being in the shed! Fuzzy stockings make for comfy nests I guess! Regardless, they are all hung by the printer with care, ready to be filled with junk food and useless garbage!

Blake bought me a turkey and he’s going to teach Madison how to make it. I tried making homemade stuffing at Thanksgiving using herbs I grew myself but the recipe was a bust and I gave up, so fuckit, we’re going back to Stove Top! (WHAT-EVERRR! Don’t care! It tastes good! Save your shade for worthier things!) My sage and rosemary are still thriving on my porch despite being snowed on several times, so I may still add my own herbs, we’ll see how lazy I feel on the big day.

On Boxing Day, the day after Christmas, our province goes back into lock down for 28 days, which is ridiculous because it should have taken effect Christmas Eve so people couldn’t have Christmas gatherings like originally planned, but our current government is chicken shit and didn’t pull the trigger at the last minute. It is what it is though. We’re not supposed to leave our homes except for groceries, picking up medications, and getting drive thru or takeout food.

But!

If the video game Plague Inc has taught me anything, once humans discover a vaccine, the virus starts running out of time to infect and mutate, so I figure by fall we’ll have won the game, so to speak. Giving up one Christmas is a small price to pay for a lifetime of future Christmases and in my opinion, this year is ideal anyway!

So, that’s our Christmas plans this year. I’m stoked for Christmas morning like a child, it’s bizarre. I’m gonna drink tea out of my new Christmas sloth mug, and open presents on my couch with everyone I love! It’s gonna be great! I hope whoever’s reading this has also found some way to enjoy the holidays this crazy year! And if not, just take a deep breath and remind yourself that this situation is only temporary! Merry Holidays to you & yours!